Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller is not a book I would normally read. But for some reason or another, my parents gave me a copy and asked me to read it. And after reading it, I am puzzled why my parents would think of me in the context of this book.
Donald Miller creates the all too common stage of someone who loves Jesus who acts like they don’t. I know this sounds strange, but I hear a lot of Christian authors and speakers who “pretend” to consider Jesus for the first time. And while I certainly believe bringing others to Christ is noble and honorable, it just all seems too fake.
Donald Miller’s writing style is frank and easy to read. He’s honest and explores concepts and theories with scripture and sound theology. One of the central themes of his book is that we’ve bastardized the Bible, by deducing the relational teachings of Jesus to a formulaic approach of salvation. Similarly, my local pastor has said the problem with the church is that we’ve dissected the Bible and put each little lesson into it’s own “jar”. When someone asks about salvation, we direct them to the shelf containing all our jars.
As a Christian, I’ve always wondered why Jesus never gave a “black and white” criteria for salvation. Similarly, I’ve often complained to my wife that the Bible seems to be filled with shades of grey. For example, in Luke 18:18, a ruler asks Jesus what he must do to inherit the kingdom of God. Jesus gives this semi ambiguous response and tells him to keep the commandments. Then Jesus tells him to go and sell all his possessions. The ruler is sad, and then Jesus says that through God all things are possible. What does that mean? Does that mean God takes care of it? Or does that mean to sell all of your possessions?
In Matthew 22, someone asks Jesus what is the greatest commandment. And Jesus replies, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” And to be honest, this is kind of frustrating. Because I was really hoping for a formulaic response in bulleted form. In fact, something along the lines of going to church, tithing, and being an overall, “nice” guy. In fact, here you go. Bulleted form:
- Go to church.
- Tithe 10%.
- Be nice.
Except that the Bible is full of relativistic examples for “goodness”. For example, Nicodemus, who was widely recognized as wealthy, was attributed to extraordinary amount of spices for for Jesus’ burial. The amount akin to a royal burial. Conversely, Mark 12 speaks to a widow’s offering, in which Jesus claims that she gave more than everyone else. In that chapter, Jesus says, “They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”
Which brings me to the problem. Inheriting the kingdom of God isn’t a checklist. And we, as humans, like checklists. Instead, it’s an invitation. An invitation into a relationship with God. And as Donald Miller explains, reading the Bible as a checklist and not as relational doctrine is a grave mistake.
The Lifeboat
To explain his point, Donald Miller illustrates the Garden of Eden as an expansive paradise abundant with life. He describes what it would be like living in the presence of God without any insecurities. His descriptions remind me of C.S. Lewis’ space trilogy, where the main character discovers a planet overflowing with the presence of God. A planet entirely different than earth – the silent planet.
In Searching for God Knows What, I found myself mentally lost in a Garden of Eden for days as if God wanted to tell me, “It was very good.” – with a sense of sorrow and nostalgia. I began to imagine what it would feel like to live in the presence of God. To not have insecurities, and all the issues that manifest from insecurity such as jealousy, lust, and greed. In this sense, if you think about it, our broken world can be traced back to an insecurity we all bear from the Garden of Eden.
We, as humans, are really good at ostracizing our neighbors. Donald Miller pretends what it would be like to visit Adam and Eve today (in Adam, Eve, and the Alien):
Humans, as a species, are constantly, and in every way, comparing themselves to one another, which, given the brief nature of their existence, seems an oddity and, for that matter, a waste.
…
The greater tragedy is that very few people understand they have the disease. This seems strange as well because it is obvious. To be sure, it is killing them, and yet, sustaining their social and economic systems. They are an entirely beautiful people with a terrible problem.
Donald Miller in Searching for God Knows What
This is true. Donald Miller details childhood stories containing his classroom social structure. And as a father of young children, I was left wondering how we, as adults, do a wonderful job teaching our children our social structures. I write this just as one of my daughters attended a Beyond the Stars dance competition. In that competition, girls were awarded medals and places. Some participants received nothing. And yet, all dancers were dancing in front of a panel of judges. Donald explains that how we, as humans, often seek approval from other humans. And that in a more perfect world, the only judge would be Jesus.
As a parent, I’ve realized that my children are different than me when it comes to the homeless. They ask why the person is begging. How they can help (and why I don’t help). I see a flurry issues that prevent me from helping. For better or worse, I simply don’t know. Somehow, I’ve become so comfortable in my Christian bubble. Which brings me to the lifeboat question.
If there were a lifeboat adrift at sea, and in the lifeboat were a male lawyer, a female doctor, a crippled child, a stay-at-home mom, and a garbageman, and one person had to be thrown overboard to save the others, which person would we choose?
I vividly remember this thought exercise in grade school, and I still remember who we chose. As a child, I remember obsessing over this question for days if not weeks. It seemed so unfair, so cruel, but at the same time, so practical. And why is that? The oddity is that as an adult, I could answer that question in about 2 seconds. Who? Obviously the garbageman. Why? Based upon a value for society, and the fact that you can’t throw away a crippled child. Which brings in the issue of choice. The child didn’t choose their life of disability. But the professions of each person strangely fits into my mental model of social “worth”. And the garbageman is the least skilled profession. Meaning, that anyone else could do that job most easily. In that sense, throwing him overboard would represent the least amount of loss.
The oddity is that as an adult, I’d be terrified of myself for making that decision. Because I truly don’t believe our value as humans as based upon our professions. Or our wealth. Yet this is the world we live in. We alienate our neighbors in the pursuit of human affections in order to fill a void in our hearts left by a God who once lived with us. That’s kind of terrible when you think about it.
Alien God, Alien Faith
The lifeboat exercise exposes a problem in humanity. That problem is that we operate with a lifeboat mentality. And Jesus doesn’t. And in that manner, Searching for God Knows What is terrifying because it exposes a flurry of beliefs that aren’t actually based upon Jesus. I have a fear of getting to heaven and then realizing that the faith I held was not of God. Just like I hear a lot of people remind me that Jesus wasn’t Christian. Okay, I guess. These beliefs include socioeconomic (giving to poor versus paying employees), political (conservative versus progressives), and even touchy topics such as abortion and homosexuality. In some sense, I began to question whether I was following Jesus or modern, American Christianity. And honestly, that’s a terrifying feeling.
Liberal Christianity and the Lion
Donald Miller does a fantastic job at detailing how Christians are waging war against Christians, and how humans are waging war against one another since the fall from the Garden of Eden. And while this is pretty much what Satan would want us to do, there is a portion of the book where he explains how our struggles in life are not against our brothers and sisters, but of principles and powers of darkness (as Paul states in Ephesians 6:12). This part of the book is sobering because while I believe in the existence and influence of angels and demons, for some reason I don’t act like it. It is almost as if one part of my brain is telling me that’s a fairy tale. And the other part of my brain is begging me to wake up. In that sense, Donald explores the “love the sinner, hate the sin” concept in all it’s fullness that I would think Jesus would expect of his disciples. Yet Donald makes a point that I found myself returning to, which is that if I truly believe in Jesus. And I believe some of this to be true. Why would I not believe the verses that compare Satan to a roaming lion (1 Peter 5:8-9). And if that’s true, then a twisted faith is a problem that bears real consequences.
The Relationship
Several days ago I read a post online from a Christian who swore that Jesus spoke to him through a text message from a friend. This particular Christian was praying that God would use him as an instrument of his peace, and he went to go play a video game. At that moment, someone texted him Proverbs 26:11 – “As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.” He felt like God was telling him to be serious with him.
The online post was filled with Christians who were agreeing with him, as well as those who were telling him to not read too much into a random text message. But here is the point, God may have wanted him to hear that message at that time. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that message was meant for anyone else but him. In other words, following Jesus is hard because it’s subjective. We are all different people with different hearts. And God guides each of us in our own way. By trying to deduce the Bible to a checklist, you’re stepping away from that relationship and trying to treat God as a checkbox. This is not how it works. You’re either a follower of Jesus or not. And be weary of “Checkbox Christianity”. You might find yourself following the wrong God.